Hide and seek

I've been thinking about you lately. No, not the focused version of you that shows up for spiritual practice, but the everyday you. The one who wakes up groggy, already feeling the weight of responsibilities. The one who gets stressed about work, worried about health, agitated in traffic. We spend so much time hiding from what's obviously here, often without realizing it.

The first hiding place is the story we tell ourselves. We're convinced we're living within a narrative - a sequence of events that makes up who we are. We average out periods of time to judge how we're doing, constantly narrating our life to ourselves and others. With each retelling, this story becomes more solid, more real. But reality is what's here before any story begins.

Then there's the emotional fortress we build. Whether it's anxiety, sadness, anger, or even bliss, we treat feelings as solid, unchangeable facts. A flash of irritation becomes an hour of brooding. A moment of worry transforms into days of anxiety. We forget that emotions are naturally brief responses, not permanent states to inhabit.

We hold onto these feelings like they're part of our identity. But look closely at any emotion you're carrying right now. Is it really as solid as it seems? Or is it more like a thought you keep rebuilding, moment after moment? You're not obliged to maintain any feeling beyond its natural lifespan.

The trick is that these hiding places feel important, even necessary. Your personal story seems crucial to making sense of life. Your emotional states feel like they need to be resolved or understood. But what if they're just elaborate ways of overlooking what's already here?

The good news is that you don't need to fight these patterns or force yourself into some other state. Simply noticing these hiding places begins to dissolve their power. What's here doesn't depend on having the right story or feeling the right way. It's already complete, before you try to hide or seek.

Take a moment when you're caught in a story or emotion - maybe during a difficult work meeting or an argument. Notice how the mind builds layers of narrative: what this means about you, what might happen next, how long this feeling will last. Then for just a moment, step back from this elaborate construction. What's actually here before the story? What's here before you start maintaining that emotional state? This immediate experience, free from commentary, is what you've been hiding from all along.

So as you move through your day, notice where you tend to hide. In stories? In emotions? In the search itself? Then gently remember - what you're looking for is already here, before any hiding begins.